Roller Coasters

Do you ever feel like you are going no where with your life? Like you are running as fast as you can just to get ahead but find yourself stuck on a treadmill? People say "it isn't about the destination, but the journey". My journey to self discovery has been more of a roller coaster than anything. I've traveled from my small town in Oregon to the bright lights of New York City. I've searched for the stars and found them in the sidewalks of Hollywood. Mission trips have taken me to the Bahamas and Mexico. The last few months, I sang my heart out in Nashville. I have been blessed to travel all over the world. My problem now is that I'm no longer sure what it is I am looking for. I invested the last 22 years of my life to try and fulfill my childhood dreams. Now I find myself wondering, "are they worth all of the ups and downs?" I have lived on couches, gone without food...not by choice, spent weeks living on only a few dollars, missed birthdays and weddings, and most recently my chance to say goodbye to my Grandma Love. A few weeks ago, Love passed away. Her death was sudden and has left my world a little shaken. I have left the ones I love the most to try and find my purpose. With my heart and ego bruised, I find myself questioning what it is I am searching for. How do we know which way to go with our lives? I have found comfort these last few weeks in the arms of my family. My visit was a time to grieve and say goodbye, but it has also been a chance to reflect on my life. However, the visit has been short lived. I am desperately searching for some direction, or a sign of which way I should go. I am preparing to take off, once again, to the land of broken dreams. It's funny how so long ago I yearned to have my chance to be a star. Rejection, or maybe just life has left the little girl inside of me jaded. Maybe what I need to find is her. She isn't afraid of anything! My life may be a roller coaster. And to be honest, as much as I love the thrill of the ride, I always get sick! The funny thing is, I ride them anyway! I think that if you are willing to spend your whole life chasing a rainbow, you may just find your pot of gold. "Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done."Philippians 4:6

Big Shoes Little Feet

One of the best things about being a little girl is playing dress up. The best accessory...Shoes! My mom, who just happens to be one of the most beautiful people I know, had a small but adequate selection of heels. I would slip my feet into those bad boys and strut my stuff all around the house. My little brother would occasionally join in...Wearing my dad's work boots, not heels! The only problem with this little game was the shoes were always too big. Because they weren't made for us we would often stumble and fall. In life there are many decisions we must make. What shoes to wear...What to do with our lives? If you feel like you are always stumbling and falling, maybe your not wearing the right shoes. Maybe you need to try to walk in your own shoes instead of trying to make someone else's work.

"It's in Christ that we find to who we are and what we are living for. Long before we heard of Christ,...He had his eye on us, had designs on us for glorious living, part of the overall purpose he is working out in everything and everyone."
Ephesians 1:11